If you're already a member of Finn Dixon's MMenagerie or follow me on Instagram, then you're already aware of the title of my next book.

But here it is, for everyone visiting here.

The Forever Vault

So, The Small But Might MM Romance Group (on facebook) held a Wedding Flash Fic event for March/April, and I chose the following prompt: "You know I have a twin, right?"

It was Janice W.'s suggestion and I just couldn't resist. I love the idea of twins, and I have a dirty mind, so the short story below is what I came up with. 1246 words. 

I shall call it,

THE LINGERING SCENT OF SEMEN.

Fuck. I overslept. Jake was gonna kill me.
I mean, it wasn’t completely awful. I was like the third best man. Fourth? Who even knew?
My childhood best friend and professional soccer player, Jake, was marrying his teammate, Landon, in - I felt around for my watch - less than an hour.
It wasn’t so bad, just a ten minute walk to the beach.
It was an unconventional ceremony to say the least. No bridesmaids. The wedding party was a sausage fest and that happened to be my favorite kind of meat.
What I had seen of the guests at all the pre-wedding cocktail receptions and rehearsals had certainly kept my cock hard all week. These were certainly memories to last me a lifetime, let alone the grooms.
My choice of bedmate last night had apparently already left. His sweet hole was fucked into oblivion. Jake and Landon had some athletic friends with fucking tight-ass bodies. And the goddamn endurance. My dick was hardening again just at the thought of his quivering hole. His shaky voice asking me to pound him, the sweat dripping off his brow, the way he threw his head back when I’d hit that spot.
Three times for me in one night was a record, but Cale. Four times. I’d have to find him again. My dick’s Magic 8-Ball powers were pointing to ‘yes.’
I wouldn’t have time for a shower, so a whore’s bath for me it was. I doubted the lingering scent of semen would even be noticed at this ceremony.
I grabbed my tux from the closet and a jockstrap from my suitcase and dashed into the bathroom. I needed to brush my teeth and double check that I didn’t have cum lingering in my beard. 
It wasn’t just four loads. It was four geysers.
I’d have to tip the cleaning crew well. My room was not pretty right now, but they must be used to it. I mean, come on, it’s a gay resort, in Hawaii. I was certain fans of Jackson Pollock would delight in the results of a black light test in these rooms.
In less than ten minutes, I was in the elevator, heading down. The groomsmen - all, like, twelve of us - were supposed to gather in a building just off the beach. I’m sure everyone was tittering over Jake and Landon. I had already answered Jake’s angry texts, telling him I was on the way. I lied and said I had a wardrobe malfunction. He asked if that meant I was still naked.
Me: 😆 Don’t want to pull focus from the grooms.
Jake: Seeing your dick would make a lot of people cry.
Oh Jake. He was a ball of laughs.
With half an hour to spare, I made it to the groom room. Rod pod? Pickle party?
I soon realized that we were kind of divided up by who we were better friends with. I knew I had entered Landon’s room almost immediately, so I made for the door at the far end, but my eye caught on some familiar blond curls.
Fucking yes. The gods were smiling upon me. It was Cale. Of course he was here for the wedding.
The two guys he was talking to halted their conversation to gawk at me, causing Cale to turn and sure enough, he broke into a wide smile when he saw me.
I had to hand it to him, the dude had balls. Not even a blush. Even after the way he slobbered all over my cock, begging me to breed him. His little whines when I went too hard, and the way he shamelessly fucked himself on my dick when I had to take a break from thrusting.
He turned away to continue talking to ogler number one. 
Playing hard to get, I see.
I walked up behind him, getting real close - like dick pressing into cheek close. I was gonna give the guys a show. If he didn’t want to ride again, their lips certainly looked prime to swallow tonight’s loads. I leaned in, my chest making contact with his back. I watched him shiver as my breath ghosted his ear.
I whispered loud enough for the other two to hear. “I hope you still have my loads inside you.”
He froze. The other guys froze. Then he slowly turned, smiled, and while shaking his head, said. “You know I have a twin, right?”
What? No. No, I did not know that.
“Twin? So, uh…you’re not Cale.”
He shook his head again. I could see the other two staring, trying to hold back laughter.
“Nope, name’s Cole, and I kind of feel at a disadvantage too because one, I don’t know your name, and two, you’ve seen what I look like naked.”
I had to laugh. “Finn. I’m…uh…Jake’s bestie.”
“I’m surprised…I haven’t seen you before. Landon and I went to the same summer camp for years. He liked soccer. I liked swimming.”
I recovered quickly. “I’m guessing you still like it with a body like that. And now that you know my name, if you want to remedy the other part of that, call me. My body looks great naked.”
I gave him my business card. A bit tacky, but to the point. Guys were usually turned on by my career as a massage therapist. And while I was the consummate professional, I knew my way around a muscular body.
I cheekily added, “Maybe your brother could help show you around. He’s pretty familiar with it.”
“I’ll have to ask him if you’re worth it.”
“Go ahead, but I’m confident in the results of my treatment. I haven’t heard a lot of those sounds before.”
I could practically see the gears in his head turning. He was intrigued.
“I’ll be in touch.”
Fuck yeah you will.

I made my exit, stopping to take a swig from an open bottle of whiskey by the door, before entering the other room. I was promptly met by Jake.
“Here you fucking are. What took so long?”
A familiar voice answered for me. “Apparently, he was flirting with my brother.”
I turned to see…Cale…holding his phone.
That was quick.
“Jesus, Finn. How many holes has that thing been in this week? You’re like the Johnny Appleseed of cum, for fuck’s sake.”
“Johnny Cumseed?"
Jake threw his hands up and turned back to the mirror to fuss with his hair.
Cale approached me. “Yes.”
“Yes what?”
“I do still have your loads inside of me,” he whispered. “And I’ve convinced Cole to let you fuck him tonight. I told him you’re the best fuck I’ve ever had, so you better have a lot more cum in that beast."
I had no verbal response. My dick was rock hard and would’ve been completely visible to everyone in the room had Cale not been pressed against it. I regained enough composure to answer, “Plenty. So, how do you know Jake?”
“Funnily enough. We met at summer camp ten years ago. I took Jake’s virginity the same night Cale took Landon’s. They didn’t know we were twins. They were just as confused as you, but we had more fun with it at first. You know…swapping.”
My eyes widened at the thought of those past scenes. I could feel myself leaking in my jock.
“Our record for one night was seven loads between the two of us. I told Cole I think we can break that tonight with you. If you’re up for it.” He squeezed my crotch…hard. “Hmm…seems like you are.”

So...yeah. Having a blog, and an alternate social media profile, and a social media page, and an Instagram account...well, you get the idea. It's a lot to juggle and not my favorite part of being an author.

It's been a busy few weeks. Work is hectic. My fiance and I FINALLY moved into the house we bought back in August. It was built in 1948 and needed a lot of cosmetic work! I also released my second book, Floored by Love, on December 29th, which...yeah...was almost two months ago, so I guess it's been a busy few months.

And I just registered for GayRomLit - an LGBT romance reader/author retreat/convention/thingy. I'm also working on book three in the Rings Trilogy, so there's that. More to come at some point, I'm sure. ;-)

Say what now?

Looking back at my ramble about negative reviews is slightly laughable. Ain't nobody got time for that. Anymore.

I am knee deep in remodeling a house with my boyfriend, and I've barely had time to write. Well, I haven't written at all. Since September.

I've been plugging away at editing book two, and I'm almost done. Then, it's one final read through and I'll publish. Hopefully before the end of the year.

Also, we will hopefully be moved in by the end of the year,

On the plus side, I have a writing nook planned for the new house. And I'm so excited to go shopping for a big comfy chair (to write in) and a huge bookshelf to put all my books on.

I've also been brainstorming so many more ideas beyond my Champions Series. I love my gymnasts, and I plan on writing the spinoffs, but once the main trilogy is out, I'm going to try to write a spinoff of  the series and a standalone completely unrelated at the same time.

We'll see how it goes!

Apparently, light switch is two words. I had to google it. ;-)

So, good news can send me into the stratosphere and bad news can put me down in the dumps. I've always been like this. My mood can change instantaneously, and the worst part is usually everyone can tell. My face is a mood ring.

In a perfect world where I'm perfect Finn, I should be happy. As my boyfriend puts it, my debut novel has over 4 stars on both Goodreads and Amazon, I should be happy. I. Should. Be. Happy.

But, gosh darn it. One negative review and I'm like super down for a long time.

Most of the authors I asked on social media said to ignore reviews, but it's so hard. I want to interact with my fans. I want to read the good reviews. It's just when I check, I remember what my rating was the last time - I have a good memory for some things - and then I know if it went down or up. Ahhh.

I wish I could just forget about it, but the positive reviews really, really uplift me.

The frustrating part is that they were honest, which I appreciate - I don't want lies - and I can understand that they didn't like my book. I know not everyone is going to like every book. I do appreciate detailed criticism more than just a 1 star rating with no comment (it happened).

I know I certainly don't like every book - that's literally why I started writing in the first place. I felt what I was reading was not a realistic portrayal of a gay relationship. It was missing something.

But I also didn't leave a negative review.

The more frustrating part is my most recent criticism could be applied to a number of immensely well-reviewed and popular books, but those criticisms aren't written because (I feel) they are establishment authors. Is it easier to pick on the new kid? Is there a mob mentality to MM romance?

I recently felt like a last book in a recent series was the worst of the series, but most of the reviews seemed to say it was the best of the bunch. I didn't understand it at all.

I've read plenty of dual POV where I couldn't tell the two characters apart. I've read plenty of books where the sports is barely mentioned even though the MCs are both athletes. And repetition? Everyone does that. I've read the same phrasing in like three books by the same author. If I read the phrase "so damn big" one more time, I'm going to explode.

At least I don't have a typo in my book (no one's pointed one out yet) - I've totally seen that in seasoned authors' books.

Why am I so salty? I probably shouldn't post this, but I have no filter. Oh well.

Some of the criticism, I totally understand. Could some of the words been cut? Absolutely. I didn't have $1800 to pay to an editor. Do some of the characters sound similar, or is the language repetitive? Yes. Again, I couldn't afford to pay a professional editor, so I relied on beta readers and friends. I changed literally everything that they criticized, so I did my best. That kind of criticism I can stand behind because I agree, my book could've been tighter.

That's the industry though. I can't please everyone and I certainly won't, and if you've read this far, thanks for coming to my TED talk. I am going to take a little bit of every criticism into consideration because I do want to be a better writer.

But honestly, I just like writing, and I'm going to write what I want to write, and not what people will like or what will sell.

I like writing stories that could be real, that feel real, and yes, in romance there is an element of fantasy, but my fantasy is grounded in reality. There are people of color, there are women, there is sex, there is profanity, there is sarcasm. All of this is real to me. If it's not your experience, then you won't think it's real. It's as simple as that.

I certainly wouldn't spend so much time with my characters if I didn't like them. But I do want others to like them too, and I hope you do.

...with book 2.

SPOILER ALERT - DO NOT CONTINUE TO READ IF YOU HAVEN'T READ RINGS OF LUST

​More details to come in good time, but I've had a blast writing this one.

There was a rather implosive end to book 1 that quite a few people didn't like, but even more people are excited to see what's in store for Cam and Luke.  How will their Happily Ever After happen?

And where is the next book set? Did Luke rejoin Cam back at college in Florida? Or did Luke's parents stay true to their word and transfer him?

I'm excited to share it, but first I must edit, and my faithful few beta readers must give me feedback, and then it will be yours, my lovely readers.

​And that will be good for all of us. :)

Well, when I started writing Rings of Lust as it would eventually be called - picking book titles is not my favorite part of this process - I wasn't confident I would actually publish. But as the words became chapters, and the chapters became 31 chapters, I realized I had done it. I had written a book.

I'm proud of myself for following through. I've had strangers and friends read it, found a program that helped me edit it, and then worked through the process with Amazon to get it done. I also hired an amazing cover artist (Story Stylings Cover Design) and promotion team (GRR) that polished the final product and made it more professional. They certainly helped me to cross the finish line, so to speak. Should I have said reach the podium?

One thing I've never been good at is criticism though, and boy, does it take everything in me to not respond to certain comments or questions. There really isn't an avenue for that, unless they reach out to me through here, instagram, or facebook. It also seems passive aggressive to counter every opinion and nobody (including me) likes that. I mean, I should be (and am) flattered they chose to read my book in the first place. I just hope they stick around for the second book, because I think the choices that some readers are having a hard time understanding are going to be explained.

Rings of Lust was born from the idea of giving a past transgression a full book, i.e. an entire novel to lead up to and explain what had happened was. In most of the books that I've read that have had this type of thing in it, it is mentioned as an aside, an afterthought, an MC's memory, or a series of flashbacks.

Something big happens in Rings of Lust, but you get the build-up, you get to know the characters back then. I've probably given too much away about where I am heading in the following books, but oh well.
​
They will likely be more "familiar" to readers of MM romance because they take place in the "aftermath" of the "event" and involve the will-they-won't-they slow-burn(?) more traditional trope of the couple coming together after the past incident that I think a lot of readers love and enjoy. My book 2 will essentially be like a traditional MM romance. In that way, Rings of Lust was more of a prequel, but one that I wrote before the original (i.e. book 2). Is any of this making sense?

So, I hope for some this clarifies one really big decision in this book. I wanted the impact on the reader to mimic the impact on the character and I decided it was the only way.

Remember when a TV show had a season finale and you had to wait a few months to see what happened?

You should only have to wait a few months. I hope to have book 2 out by the end of 2021.

If you have any other questions about my thought process, I'd love to hear them. I know Luke's parents are an enigma to some readers, the amount of sex has been mentioned, the realness of the sex (as a gay man...well, I shouldn't have to explain that), and here I go starting to get defensive again. See! It's really hard. ;-)

If you enjoyed my book, please leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. I'm sure my constant checking of both pages will end at some point, right?

Well, it's out there, and I feel like Sally Field.  

You like me! You really like me! *cries cries cries*

Seriously, the kind words I've received make me feel really good, and more determined to finish book two asap.

If you have a blog or instagram and you'd like to participate in an early reading and the release party, sign up with the link below.

https://forms.gle/kcCWYpmNH8qsizVL7

I'm working with Gay Romance Reviews to help promote Rings of Lust. I'd love to have you!

Well, after almost a month and a half of proofreading and editing, and a day of formatting, the pre-order for Rings of Lust is live on amazon.com.

Pre-order with the following link: mybook.to/RingsOfLust

I am hopeful to get the paperback pre-order link up ASAP.  I'm just waiting on the final graphic for the paperback cover from the talented and patient Rebecca from Story Styling Cover Designs.  She created the Finn Dixon graphic as well as all the cover art and promo materials for the book, and eventual series.  I highly recommend their services.

That's all for now.  Thanks for visiting.